another girl in her own world..

sigh.

i think i have lacking/boredom syndrome. i’m 24 and i feel as if i have not done anything significant. i feel like i wanna do something exciting but i have absolutely no idea how and its frustrating!! i can no longer do anything that i want at the drop of a hat. the spontaneity in my life has gone. pffft. vanish. i feel like i wanna do something. rather than just sitting at home or doing mundane things.

sigh.

i think what sets this depressing feeling is the fact that i feel like most of my friends are moving on with their lives. or maybe i’m just an impatient girl. …..well, more so than usual.

all right, thats it. i need to get out of this brooding phase. this is a cry for help,people. what should i do??

actuall had a busy day out today.. but first..

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO BRAT #1. my lil sister. she turned 20 yesterday. who would’ve thunk it? that scrawny girl is 20! may your life be blessed with everything you hoped for and more. amin.

then..

congratulations to an rnB, ONA, who got engaged today! “selamat sudah..” did you find out what that means?? i really do wish that kamu “sampai ke jinjang pelamin” and happy/sehat sampai kamu be-cucu and cicit. hehehehe.. *hugs*

today is the Royal Brunei Armend Forces’s anniversary. i.e.: HOLIDAAAAAAAAY!!! but it didn’t feel like one since i was out the whole time. *sigh* which is why i’m planning to stay in the whole day tomorrow, just watching dvds. n reading. in bed. with a lot of junk food. :p cant wait!!

fiz went back to UK this evening. i think since this is the 7th? 8th? year she’s going off we didn’t cry. at all. we’re ganno miss her desperately but thanks to technology (which i am still very kuno about, mind you)  we can keep in touch more. speaking of which, i’ve been spending more time with my ladies lately. its heartwarming to know that even after 5 years of graduation (7 for some of us) we still managed to meet up and still confide with each other eventhough we don’t see each other on a daily basis like we used to. saja reflecting.. i know my post have been boring lately, but ntah… can’t seem to think of anything interesting to post AAAAAAAND if i do, there’d be no time to do it..

o well. lap y’all…

ugh. in school right now. had to stayback. because of the 3 times a week thing. too lazy to explain in full details.

anywhoo.. so here i am in school, bored. i bought my laptop thinking i could type all the lesson plans. as it turned out, i’m a fast typer. or maybe i just didnt have as many to type. hehehehe.

i think i’m finally getting the hang of working here. i mean, sure, i still complain, but its in moderation now! hehe. ….ok, i’m babbling. and hungry!! what shud i eat ah..?

B : “you are not the most beautiful woman in the world..”

me : *hurt* “???”

B : “you are the most beautiful woman in the universe !!!!”

i gotta admit, it did made my day..

i am soo freakin tired. i’ve been waking up at the break of dawn and hitting the pillow before midnight for the past month. i didn’t think it would be this tiring. i mean, i thought, it was something like get up, teach, rest when you’re not teaching and go home at 12.30pm. Yeah, right!! somehow, i managed to not include the fact that teachers also have to set up the papers, notes, homeworks. check the notes and homeworks. mark the notes and homeworks. lesson plans have to be prepared at least a week before. not to mention making the lesson as simple as possible so that your students can understand what the heck i’m talking about. understanding is far better than memorising.

….orite, getting out of hand. anyway, since working i rarely have time to hang out with my friends. so i was a tad iski when i met up with mizi and atul last night. Mizi wanted to try out his new studio so we had a photoshoot where i was the model. (woohooo~) my ‘next top model’ exprience was by far the most relaxed i have been since i started reliefing. it was also kinda hard to pose with a straight face with atul in the background, heckling. *roll eyes* i admit, there are times during the shoot i felt very prasan (wahey. i look goood..) but mostly i had fun. i made Mizi took a picture of me jumping. hehehe..

will post the photos when i get the chance. …suddenly, very iski.. hehe. in fact, i’m gonna go and message him now! , fauz.

edit: some of the photos..

hehehehe.. i had fun being the photographer’s muse. :p btw, the photographer is none other than my good friend mizi. check out his website here if you like his photos.

ok. name me your top 5 most romantic movies of all time. and by romantic, i mean the kind of movies where you always end up bawling your eyes out but still watch it over and over again. i was watching The Notebook when this thought entered my mind. then i asked atul. (she named a few then gave up halfway. hehheehe.)

anyways, after trying to think of my favourites, i realised that i can only come up with three as the ones that i really love: Ever After (a classic,no?), Just like heaven (*sappy sigh*) and  The Notebook. is that it?? i have watched many, many, many romantic films that made me cry and i can only come up with 3? huh. well, The Atonement  has potential but my little brother spoiled the ending for me. so i was already somewhat turned off at the beginning of the film (if you haven’t watch the movie/know the ending, watch it.)

realisation # 2: most of my favourite movies were originally books. no. wait. ALL were originally books. Ever After is the story of cinderella. …now i’m really curious how the movie version of PS: I Love You turned out. because i really love the book. or what are the chances that Julie Garwood’s or Judith McNaught’s books turning into a movies?

hehe. i’m a nuuurd..

so tell me. what’s your top 5? :D 

i am bleepin’ tired.. gone were the days where i slept at 3am and woke up a noon. i am usually out by midnight (earlier if i finished my work) and up the wee morning of 6am. its been 3 weeks since i first started my job. i think my body is starting to get used to it. i admit there are times when i can feel the stress of the job gaining on me but i’m alright now. (yea!! i kicked YOUR butt!!! hehehe.. apakan..?)

i know i’m strong. as i mentioned before, i’m working at my old school. so paham2 saja tah. its kinda hard but yea. *brave smile*

anyway, changing the topic, tadi i just passed by the new doughnut shop!! *drool* it was closed plang. but at least now i know where it is! (Qlap) someone told me there’s another branch in Yayasan. woooooohooo~ it’s been a while since i had a good doughnut (assuming this place sell some :p )

ok. tired. taaaa~

i blame my siblings for this song. they were suddenly so the iski. they first heard it from Gossip Girl. its actually quite a catchy song (morbid fact aside.. hehehe..) click here to listen/watch it on youtube. enjoy.

the pierces - secret 

Got a secret
Can you keep it?
Swear this one you’ll save
Better lock it, in your pocket
Taking this one to the grave
If I show you then I know you
Won’t tell what I said
‘Cause two can keep a secret
If one of them is dead

 isn’t he H-A-W-T??? i completely forgot about him!! back in 1998, (bulih?? 10 years ago, when i was young and dinosaurs were still roaming) while waiting for the pmb results to come out, i decided to stay at home. i mean, bahapa jua? the big exam of the year was over and done with. besides, none of my friends were coming. hehehe. so there,i was, at home & bored, when i tuned in to HBO. ada tia this new movie: dance with me. starring Chayanne and Vanessa Williams. *sigh* i feel hard for the lead actor. and since i was more kuno then i was now (B & atul,please refrain from commenting, i just know both of you have something to say) and there weren’t such things as wireless connection (not in my area, anyway), all i knew about the oh-so-dreamy guy was his name (chayanne *deep sigh*) and the fact that he was a huge star in latin america.

so, anyways, i went out shopping with the family today (ooh! lunch with Cuaji and family. hehehe.. fuuun! he’s the outgoing uncle.. ) then had dinner at escapade with B and dd. we decided to stop by at Joey Jo in qlap when i saw the dvd!! i was like, ‘waaaaaaah!! klasssik laah!!’. and yes,i bought it. after watching it, i googled him. *giggling like an annoying schoolgirl* turns out, he was born in 1971. too old for me. and it seems like he is happily married with two kids. *sad sigh* hehe, i know i’m acting like i have a shot but one can dream, no? :p

i think i’ve done enough gushing for one nite. hehehe.

 *deepest sigh* be still my heart..

the urge to post a blog just hit me eventhough i don’t exactly have a topic in mind. i’m not even sure how i feel right now. there are serious mixed emotions swirling in my head right now.

• happy because i just spent most of the night watching alien vs predator with B along with our siblings. its been days since we went out. so, it felt good to be with him again. (crappy movie,tho.)
• pissed off because pompous c***s still exist in my life. if you really are a friend, you should’ve stopped her before it got too far. whats the point of empty threats when everything is over and done with?? besides, your right to interfere was over when you just let it happened.
• excited because there’s an rnB dinner tommorrow. ….its 3am, so, later.. its waaaaaay overdue, babes.. we should’ve done it earlier.
• annoyed (to the max) because of a lazy and inconsiderate idiot who keeps assuming he’s entitled.

i feel so messed up. sigh. it could be that time of the year. i just have so much time in my hands that i could actually reflect on my life in the big picture. or maybe i just developed a self destructing habit pondering on useless things. huh.

changing the topic. Scotland is in my head suddenly. ever since i found out that Scotland is where abg long went to further his studies, i just had this weird obssesion with it. combined with my sudden interest with romance novels (or porn books as B calls ‘em. :p ) the need to know was greater. hehehe.. one day, i WILL go there. i will breathe in the cold highland air. i will take in all the misty scenary. B, your promise? so looking forward to it.ok, now its 3.30am. sleepy. gonna go now.